MotherFlux Redux
mothering in flux
Just over four months ago, on 12th May, my first book publication of 2024 was born. On Mothering Sunday, for most of the world. Initially we had been aiming for 10th March as our pub date, Mother’s Day in the UK, but that was just a bit too tight for organising launches and preparing promo, particularly around childcare. This book is a collaborative poetry pamphlet called MotherFlux by Erica Gillingham, Jem Henderson and myself.
Published by Nine Pens Press, this collab was a follow up to GenderFux, my first collaboration (with Jem Henderson and Jonathan Kinsman) and my first time ever sharing and workshopping writing of any kind with others. Written over a few Zoom calls in 5 weeks during the summer of 2021, it was published in the week of my 49th birthday in February 2022.
MotherFlux is not exactly a sequel, but a shapeshifting non-binary ‘son’ of, or ‘daughter’ of GenderFux. Whereas the first explored gender, sexuality and identity from a queer and transmasculine perspective, the latter takes this as its starting point and throws the joys and challenges of being a parent into the mix. As Erica wrote so perfectly for our blurb:
MotherFlux is the collaborative work of three queer parent-poets from the margins of (m)otherhood.
From embryonic dreamers and pregnancy-performers to sleep-deprived newbies and seasoned second-timers, their poems are raw, messy, and unflinching reflections on what it means to be a parent, and to make a family. The pamphlet considers gender, sexuality, politics, and the body as it moves between heightened individual experiences to outright rejections of societal expectations.
These are voices recording in real time, mothering in flux.
With a much longer gestation period than GenderFux the book was actually conceived in a hotel room in York, where I was staying courtesy of the University of York, to read at an event with Anthony (Vahni) Capildeo and Maya Caspari. I’d been invited there along with dove / Chris Kirubi as two of the contributors to the Re*Creation Anthology (mentioned in this blog post) which is by far the most exciting and glamorous thing I’ve done yet in my short poetry ‘career’. I was somewhat in awe of all three of these poets - dove I’d seen read at an the87press event at the Barbican a few months previously (their much-anticipated debut collection WILDPLASSEN launches at Cafe Oto on 5th October), Capildeo is Poetry Royalty, and a poem I wrote after them appears in White Cloud Over Purple. Corrigendum was first published in Propel, edited by Fran Lock, and also appears in Propel’s first physical anthology, along with multitudes of other excellent poets I admire. Maya I was delighted to meet again thanks to serendipitous poeticus as we were both on the City Lit Poetry Masterclass this last year. I can’t WAIT for you to read her debut pamphlet, her work is 🔥!
But back to the hotel room, and a phone call with Jem to discuss the fact that Colin from Nine Pens had recently been in touch to say he’d be interested in publishing a GenderFux follow up from us. We asked Jon, he said no, too busy with other projects. We talked about the theme, neither of us wishing to simply repeat the same formula. Jem had recently discovered they were pregnant, and thus GenderFux (with added baby formula) was conceived. I suggested Erica as a possible third partner, an excellent poet and writer who’d recently published their debut pamphlet with Verve Poetry Press (The Human Body Is A Hive) about her pregnancy and parenting journey, sprinkled with queer love, loss and desire. I remember leaving a long rambling voice message on her phone trying to explain the project and persuade her to join us. Lucky for us, she said yes. Thus, MotherFlux was born, a few days before my 50th birthday.
MotherFlux took a lot longer to write than GenderFux, but still over roughly the same number of Zoom calls. We were all busy, with work and parenting, and had a hard deadline to meet - we needed to finish before Jem’s baby was born. And nine months after submitting to Nine Pens, MotherFlux was held up to the light, smacked on the arse, and introduced to the world. Our online launch and live launch were in the same week, but two very different beasts. Live, we were at the fabulously revitalised venue of Soho Poly, courtesy of Deborah Finding, its first poet in residence. Deborah was also one of our Guest Readers, as mentioned in my last post, along with Rona Luo and Jennifer Wong. Online, I had tech issues, was solo parenting that evening, and it was the hottest day of the year (so far). My laptop melted, and I had to do half my readings via phone.
Since then, in the last four months, I’ve had two other book publications and launches, which might explain why I’ve only now got round to watching, editing and posting onto YouTube the recording of our online launch. Here it is:
And here are some photos of our fabulous live launch:
Here also a lovely feature about MotherFlux, and queer parenting in general, in the latest issue of Diva Magazine. (The place that saw my very first publication ever, a short story in their Sex Issue, back in 1996.)
And finally, because this is about poetry innit, here’s one of my poems from MotherFlux, which felt most appropriate to share this week while I’m solo parenting while my wife is away for work in Italy.
Passport Control is a palimpsest poem, the text underneath my words is from the newspaper article Italian far-right government limits parental rights of same-sex couples by Colleen Barry, Associated Press (March 2023). My words are not only a true story, but a frustrating and anxiety-inducing narrative that repeats itself every time we enter Italy as a family with our daughter.